Fuck.

This weekend has been a disaster, and I am at my breaking point. I am trying to pick up the pieces and hold my head high. But I miss him so much. He just picked up and left on a vacation that we were supposed to take together. Leaving a tornado of drama, without so much as a word. I am at the club, after spending days in bed. On pain meds and drinking. It's all been a blur. But boys keep hitting on me, and my skin crawls. I don't want anyone else to touch me again. And I am sitting in the bathroom listening to idiotic girls complain about their husband and boyfriends. How is it that these awful girls have managed to pair off, and no matter how hard I try to be an amazing girlfriend I can't keep a guy. And no matter how many times i'm told that it isn't me, I don't believe it.

I deleted my Facebook again, because I know when he gets home, there will be tons of posts and pictures. Of him having a blast. I remember last summer enough to try to avoid the hurt I am going to feel when I see it. It seems over dramatic, but i'm devastated. And it's only going to get worse.