Get it together

I have realized that I am not doing what I intended with this blog.

It was supposed to be something fun, and entertaining. I wanted to document my dating experiences. And it's reading like a depressing journal of some lame teenager. Dating was supposed to be an adventure, and it's been nothing but a pain in my ass.

I wanted to actually write about the whole process. Of falling in and out of love. I want to remember everything. And I didn't write anything until it was over. From now on I will definitely not slack on the little stuff.

The hard part is getting dates though. I had that date last week with The Cyclist, and I've barely heard from him since. I don't know how to interpret that. I am so quick and aggressive, that I'm not sure if this is a normal pace. I'm so used to start dating and then wanting to talk to that person as much as possible. But I am holding back as much as I can, so I don't make the same mistakes. And then I'm worried that it might come across as me not being interested. Oh man, this is so lame.

I am still struggling with learning my lessons. In an effort to try to remain friends (which is something I always do), I have allowed myself to communicate with The DJ. It started on facebook not long after I got dumped. He made a comment on a photo. And I thanked him. Which I guess made him feel okay to start communicating. Soon enough, I found myself inviting him over to watch TV with me. Just chill and drink. It was innocent enough, and actually fun. When we are together, we get along so well. But when I took him home, he kissed me. And I let him. He apologized and went inside. I honestly don't know why I let him.

Actually yes I do. Because I love kissing. It's my weakness...my cryptonite.

I have hung out with him again since, and there was kissing again. But I am done. At first I thought it was because maybe he missed me, and he realized he had made a mistake. But it's a trap. And I usually get caught in it. He wants to go out and party, and not have to answer to anyone, or be responsible for anything. Lead the single life, but still have someone to have around for when he gets lonely. And I almost fell for it.

Almost.

I will still be friends with him, just because we have a lot of the same friends. And we hang at the same places. I hate feeling like I have to avoid somebody. But there is no way I'm going to continue to be a side piece of ass.

Anyway, I will try to lighten things up a bit. Hopefully someone asks me out, so I can make this blog the way I intended.