The Inevitable

So I have not updated in quite a bit. And there was a reason.

I did actually suck it up, and give the DJ a chance. I went out with him. And I had a blast. He was charming, and sweet, and most importantly hilarious. We got along perfectly. I set aside all my reservations about his lifestyle. Even after he admitted to me he was an alcoholic. But, he said he was waiting for a special someone to pull him out of it. He truly wanted someone to spend time with at home. A reason not to go out and get drunk all the time.
And I believed him.

After about a week, he had already said that he was falling for me. And only after two weeks did he confess that he WAS in love me. And honestly, looking back, I think I was in love with the idea of someone being in love with me.

You can already tell where this might be going. But, I will continue.

We spent everyday together. Laughing a lot. I didn't feel like I had to water down my personality. I am extremely crude, and honest. And he seemed to be the same way. When I start to care about someone, I want to spoil them, and take care of them. And that's exactly what I did. I would make sure he had a ride to wherever he was going, since he didn't have a car. I bought drinks for him and his friends. I left surprises at his house to let him know I was thinking about him.

This whole time he's telling me how perfect I am. And how he's had a crush on me for 10 years. What an accomplishment it was that he snagged me. He even admitted I was a trophy. Which should have been a huge red flag. I told him I wasn't sure about him seeing me as a trophy.
But I trusted him. Whole-heartedly.

He asked me if we could change our facebook status. And we did that at the same time. I was so excited about being open about having a boyfriend. I've never had that before. To be excited that I was with somebody. He went to my friends parties with me, and he seemed so proud of me. He said I was so smart, and creative, and so pretty. He had never been with anyone as pretty as me. I am so reluctant to believe these things. But it doesn't mean that I didn't like hearing them.

And a week after deciding to be exclusive.

Something changed.

He didn't invite me to places with him. He blew me off. He said he wanted to hang out with me one day. Just to say that it couldn't happen that night, but for sure tomorrow. Which happened to be my favorite holiday. Halloween.

Hasn't this exact thing happened before?

I asked him why he suddenly stopped inviting me places. And he said that it was his policy not to party with his girlfriends. His past experiences have only brought jealousy. It was strange to me, since I've been partying with him the past three weeks. And I have never acted jealous about anything. Even when some girl came up and was caressing and running her fingers
through his hair.

He shut down and didn't want to talk about it anymore. I asked him if he still wanted to hang out that night. Which happened to be Halloween.
'Yes, no, maybe...I don't know'

I ended up not hanging out with him on. Halloween. He didn't text or call. I had a fabulous night with one of my oldest friends. And happened to have a few people interested in me.

The next day he pretended like nothing happened, and I gave him the cold shoulder. I was extremely hurt. I saw on facebook that he was making grand plans with friends.
Trips out of state. Going out partying and not inviting me at all. I lost it, and went to his house. I told him how I am tired of being a girlfriend of convenience.
And how I wasn't going to continually go through the same thing. I was balling, and a complete mess. And he just looked at me coldly. He said, 'I just didn't want you around. Is that bad?'

'I do my own thing.'

At that moment I knew I had made a huge mistake. He didn't care about me at all. He didn't want to be in a relationship. I was a trophy. And the minute I stood up for myself, he couldn't handle that reality.

I spent two days barely talking to him. And I had planned on
ending the relationship.

..and he beat me to the punch.

He dumped me.

Things got 'too real for him, too fast.'
His exact words.

Lesson learned.