Note to Self

As I am just starting this blog, things might be somewhat confusing to the reader. I haven't even begun to flesh out my backstory. I am learning lessons, or more appropriately, I am trying to learn lessons about my dating habits. One of my long standing habits is drinking and flirting. A deadly combo. I think that I'm decent at flirting and being charming. But when I pass the point to full on drunkeness, things fall apart. I am extremely forward and agressive. And most the time, it will involve kissing. I love to kiss, more than anything. And for some reason I drink, and drink...and then it's on to kissing. This might not seem like such a terrible thing. But I would like to be the type of person to at least kiss people I'm interested in, as opposed to the people who happen to be standing closest to me. That is an exaggeration, but you get the point.

The biggest problem here is I am making people think I'm interested when I'm not. And I feel terrible about that. I really do. I don't want to hurt anyone. And I am already on that path.

The other problem is that I may come across as easy. And generally you are not going attract the guys with the best intentions or expectations. I will say one thing, I am not a slut. It is going to be interesting to date at this age and know how sex fits in. I don't do casual sex, and I think I've already experienced rejection because of not wanting to be a booty call. I say that I think, because I'm not positive if that was the reason. I'm just assuming.

Anyway...note to self...no more heavy drinking while dating.