The Single Atheist in Utah

Let's talk a little about the dating scene in Utah. I had mentioned above that I'm 30, well I will be 30 this month. Most people in Utah understand the challenges right away. You see, mormon culture is overwhelming. Generally the dating scene is over for most people in high school. Guys go on their missions around age 19. Then they come home and there is a small amount of dating. Most guys have girls waiting for them, and they marry pretty quickly when they get home. Other than that, I believe guys turn to people that they already know, or who are part of their ward. And I think I've been told about the singles ward once or twice. There really are slim pickins at my age, since most everyone scooped each other up pretty early. Strangely enough, I was dating a mormon all through high school. And I almost waited for him while he was on mission. This is another post all together.

Add to the fact that I'm an atheist. I just talked about that most people meet each other within their small church communities. Obviously this creates a problem for an atheist. I generally avoid dating mormons, just because of the potential issues in the future. I have dated mormons before, and I have no problem with it, as long as they understand who I am. And know that they will not be able to convert me at all. Period. But, I'm sure mormons avoid me as much as I avoid them. Most mormons or even religious people in general assume that atheists have no morals. Which isn't true, I have most of the same morals, they just come from the laws and common sense instead of the bible. But, we won't get into the backgrounds of atheism. I want to keep any talk of atheism in relation to dating.

The most recent person I dated was a mormon. I'll call him The Good Guy. (A lot of my friends will disagree with the nickname, but I stand by it). I knew him back in high school. He dated and married a friend of mine from high school. We reconnected on facebook (which apparently is the way to meet people these days). I was dating this guy while he was going through a pretty bad divorce. This should have sent up red flags, but he convinced me that he was okay with dating. The story of The Good Guy is long, and I will save it for another post. But he didn't seem to have a problem that I was an atheist, although I got the feeling that he was looking for the exact opposite of what his ex-wife was. And that is just asking to be rebound material. Another lesson I learned quite painfully.

So when I talk about the challenges of dating, maybe I mean it's more a challenge to meet people who are interested. My roomie and I agreed that if I were living in New York it wouldn't be an issue. Or a lot of other places for that matter. Culturally diverse places see a lot less discriminating taste and they aren't getting married off at age 18-21 on average. We decided that if I'm still single at 35, I'm packing my bags and moving. Cause, you know....in Utah, it's game over man, game over.