6/10/10

I am in the desert at 7 in the morning. I've started drinking already, managing a good buzz. And of course I think about you.

I woke up in a tent with 3 people. All trying to cuddle and possibly do more. And I just don't want anyone to touch me.

As I sit here by myself, drinking vodka. The light trying to peak through the clouds, I wonder what you are doing. You are probably with a girl, I assume. Most likely partying. I keep thinking about texting you. I don't know what I would say.

I would say I miss you.

I'm overcome with sadness. I don't want any of these people. I want you.

I don't know why I'm even writing this like I am speaking to you. You will never see it. I thought about showing it to you when things were good. I thought it might be special. The story of us meeting, and eventually falling in love. I'm glad I didn't. I guess it feels better to think that I'm talking to you. It's been over a week since I've spoken to you, and it feels strange. All of these things that I want to say so badly, but I'm way too caught up in not making things uncomfortable.

It's strange without you. It doesn't feel like real life. Everyday has become a blur.

C'est la vie, right?