Well...

I have been quite the whiner since the breakup. I am well aware. And thanks to everyone who has put up with it. I'm kind of letting the emotions flow as they come. And even though it's kind of annoying to go back and read, I am glad I did it. Night time has been particularly difficult. Because it was when I spent time with The DJ. I haven't quite known what to do with myself, especially since I'm kind of a prisoner in my own room.

So, I am going to try to move past all the personal feelings. Although I am sure they will re-surface from time to time.

Right now, I am thinking about how to approach the whole dating thing again.

Am I ready?

*shrugs*

I am going to anyway. I started off after The Ex deciding to be a lot pickier. Which didn't work. So I figured I would let up, and kind of go with the flow. Try not to force things. And that's how I met and started to date The DJ. Which didn't work either.

I get caught up in formulas, and try to balance that with advice I get from friends. Should I be pickier, or should I take more chances? Is there really a middle ground? Everyone keeps telling me to just go about my life, and I will find someone unexpectedly. But I have a hard time believing that's the way it works. And even if I manage to find someone that way, I am starting to be really pessimistic about things lasting. After all the experiences I have had, I am trying with all my might to not be bitter or jaded.

I have the opportunity to go out on a date with someone I met at the Utah burn. And I am pretty damn scared because of certain factors. I won't mention them yet, because I'm not even sure that I will be going out with him. But, as the dating thing progresses, not only do I worry about my own personal issues with experiences in the past. But I am thinking that societal issues might become something I am going to have to confront. And I am just overwhelmed with the idea of even being single again.

I guess we will see.